CBS Reveals Top 10 Couric Sign-Off Suggestions
by Scott Ott
(2006-09-06) — Americans last night rushed to the aid of debutante CBS News anchor Katie Couric to help her develop a distinctive ’sign off’ for her evening newscast. According to a source at CBS, the network already has 10 “hot candidates” for what journalists consider the most important element of any TV news program.
The multimillionaire media veteran ended her premier show last night by asking the viewer to suggest a sign-off that would rival Walter Cronkite’s immortal phrase “…and that’s the way it is” or Dan Rather’s simple but profound word: “Courage.”
The plea for help from the viewer comes after months of research by the CBS News staff failed to turn up a suitable way to end the show that would “convey the significance of this massive journalistic enterprise,” the unnamed source said.
According to a leaked internal memo, here are the top 10 viewer-suggested Katie Couric sign-offs ranked according to frequency of suggestion:
10. “Well, there’s 22 minutes of your life you can never get back.”
9. “News pH balanced. We report. You admire.”
8. “I hope to see you tomorrow night, because all I see tonight is the TelePromTer.”
7. “I’m Katie Couric, and that’s the way it is at the DNC.”
6. “That’s the news and I mean it. Does anybody want a peanut?”
5. “I’m Katie Couric and this is one sweet gig!”
4. “If you stand up for a few minutes now, you won’t get so many sofa sores.”
3. “Now you know what to think. But you don’t really have to.”
2. “Why read the news online when I get paid millions to do it for you?”
1. “What makes a muskrat guard its musk?”
I love scrapple face. It's got some really great tongue-in-cheek articles. Sometimes you just need a good laugh at the world and they help provide it. Go check them out. http://www.scrappleface.com/?p=2322
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
Life...and pictures!
So yeah, I haven't written a real post in a while. Sorry to all five of you who regularly check and see if I have. :) Right now I'm taking a break from studying and Sniper, the black cat has decided to be a sweet kitty and stretch out all over my hands as I try to type, I think he's trying to reclaim his "spot" that I kicked him out of.
Finals are next week and it seems like just a few weeks ago that I was writing about the end of the fall semester!
I quit my tanning job (waa-hoo!) and I have been tutoring underpriveledged kids for the last month or so. That's been quite an interesting experience but one that I have greatly enjoyed.
Oh yes, and we let Libby go free in March. It was a sad day for us but a very happy one for her. We made her an awesome little house with a hammock inside but I think that she decided she wanted a real squirrel house and is building a nest. No fear though, a friendly little owl took up residence in Libby's home and actually laid three eggs there!!! Very exciting and quite scary to Tim who discovered her by peeking into the door of the house and seeing a big glowing eye and three little eggs along with a "whoo-hoo" (or whatever sound owls make!). We've seen Libby a couple of times when we visit Tim's family but she hasn't wanted to get near to us. Oh well, we had fun with her and it was a neat experience but I'm glad that she's free to run around and make her little messes outside!
Well, I'm off to do some more reading about the antifederalists' case of the Constitution. It's pretty interesting! Maybe I'll write about how I see that some of their fears might have actually come to pass in our present day. They were afraid that the Constitution would give too much power to a central government and a group of elites. Hmmm.
Anywho, see y'all soon! Drop me a line and let me know what your summer plans are!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
You know you're from Texas when...
I love forwards. Yes, that might be odd but I don't care. They're like getting joks all the time! I don't like the "good luck" ones where people give you a guilt trip unless you FORWARD THIS TO 10 PEOPLE WITHIN 10 MINUTES. Anywho, I got this fun one the other day and just thought I would share it with y'all. If you're from Texas you'll probably laugh and understand and if you're not, well, you can just laugh too and wish you knew the joke.
ou know ur from Texas when...
*You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine,
Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.
*A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
*You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
*You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
*You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
*You measure distance in minutes.
*Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
*You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
*You know cowpies are not made of beef.
*Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
*You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
*You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
*A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Double Cab F-150 is.
*You know everything goes better with Ranch.
*You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.
*You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
*You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads,
"No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!"
*Your family pet is the stray dog with one leg that came limping up to your door.
*You say "Up-air" when you are refering to a place "Over there".
*Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."
ou know ur from Texas when...
*You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine,
Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.
*A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
*You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
*You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
*You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
*You measure distance in minutes.
*Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
*You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
*You know cowpies are not made of beef.
*Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
*You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
*You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
*A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Double Cab F-150 is.
*You know everything goes better with Ranch.
*You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.
*You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
*You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads,
"No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!"
*Your family pet is the stray dog with one leg that came limping up to your door.
*You say "Up-air" when you are refering to a place "Over there".
*Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."
Friday, March 24, 2006
My candy heart :)
| Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me" |
 A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love |
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
SPRING BREAK!
Okay, I'm finally posting a blog (SUSAN!). I know it's been a while so I'll try to say what's been up along with some fun pictures.
I had midterms last week and I think they went really well. I'm trying to make all A's this semester because Tim said he would get me an i-pod Nano if I did. (I feel like I'm in 5th grade but who cares! I want a Nano!!) The second half of the semester is going to be pretty hard though. I have a 12-15 page paper due and Latin is going to get harder because we're going to be doing a lot of translating. Hopefully, it will be do-able. I'll let you know if I get my nano. ;)
After midterms were finished I went for an interview at Handley Middle School and I got a job as a tutor starting on Monday! I'm really excited about it and will hopefully doing that this summer instead of my present job. I think it's going to be really neat and I'm looking forward to the experience as well as the MUCH better pay. :) I'll let you know how it goes but I'm sure I'll enjoy it.
After my interview on Friday (yes, I had a busy day!) we met our friends Chris and Katey at our apartment and we started the drive down to Houston. We stayed until Monday and we had SO much fun and were really busy. Friday night as soon as we got to the Woodlands we ate at a really nice and fun restaurant but I can't remember the name. Then we went to Katey's dad's house, where we were staying for the weekend, and met her parents and talked to them for a while. That night we enjoyed the hot tub for a while and tried to watch a movie but that didn't last. On Saturday we got up around 9 and went ice-skating at the Galleria and then to the rodeo that night. Chris was the only one who had ever gone ice-skating but the rest of us learned quickly and had a blast slipping and sliding around on the ice. There were a few misadventures, I fell once and Tim and Chris raced around and on the final turn Tim slid by me and took out a little kid who was quietly waiting on the side. After a few angry glares from the mother they quickly left and the boy wasn't too hard.
The rodeo was a blast; we ate sausages and funnel cakes and sampled all of the various toffee, candy, and garlic that the stands had to offer. Afterwards we went back to the house and had a really good conversation before calling it a night.
Sunday we went to Galveston and fed seagulls, flew a kite, and ate awesome seafood at Willie Gee’s. That night we grilled burgers and watched part of a movie before the night ended.
Monday morning Tim and I slept in and got everything together to leave. We stopped to eat at the Potato Patch in Houston (the food, once again, was awesome!) where they served fried okra and threw fresh and hot biscuits at us. We had fun on the drive back to Arlington and Fort Worth; so much fun in fact we decided to go watch a movie near their apartment complex. Those plans didn’t pan out because Katey’s bracelet got misplaced but Chris saved the day when he found in under the dishwasher in his apartment. We then watched 24 and finally they brought us home around 10:00 last night.
So our first weekend of spring break was fast and furious but a ton of fun. We got to do things that some of us hadn’t done (ice skate for Katey, Tim, and I and sit through a whole rodeo – Chris and Katey and feed a whole bag of Doritos to some sea gulls and I don’t think any of us had done that!) So here are some pictures to go along with this tremendously long post! Have a great rest of spring break!!
I had midterms last week and I think they went really well. I'm trying to make all A's this semester because Tim said he would get me an i-pod Nano if I did. (I feel like I'm in 5th grade but who cares! I want a Nano!!) The second half of the semester is going to be pretty hard though. I have a 12-15 page paper due and Latin is going to get harder because we're going to be doing a lot of translating. Hopefully, it will be do-able. I'll let you know if I get my nano. ;)
After midterms were finished I went for an interview at Handley Middle School and I got a job as a tutor starting on Monday! I'm really excited about it and will hopefully doing that this summer instead of my present job. I think it's going to be really neat and I'm looking forward to the experience as well as the MUCH better pay. :) I'll let you know how it goes but I'm sure I'll enjoy it.
After my interview on Friday (yes, I had a busy day!) we met our friends Chris and Katey at our apartment and we started the drive down to Houston. We stayed until Monday and we had SO much fun and were really busy. Friday night as soon as we got to the Woodlands we ate at a really nice and fun restaurant but I can't remember the name. Then we went to Katey's dad's house, where we were staying for the weekend, and met her parents and talked to them for a while. That night we enjoyed the hot tub for a while and tried to watch a movie but that didn't last. On Saturday we got up around 9 and went ice-skating at the Galleria and then to the rodeo that night. Chris was the only one who had ever gone ice-skating but the rest of us learned quickly and had a blast slipping and sliding around on the ice. There were a few misadventures, I fell once and Tim and Chris raced around and on the final turn Tim slid by me and took out a little kid who was quietly waiting on the side. After a few angry glares from the mother they quickly left and the boy wasn't too hard.
The rodeo was a blast; we ate sausages and funnel cakes and sampled all of the various toffee, candy, and garlic that the stands had to offer. Afterwards we went back to the house and had a really good conversation before calling it a night.
Sunday we went to Galveston and fed seagulls, flew a kite, and ate awesome seafood at Willie Gee’s. That night we grilled burgers and watched part of a movie before the night ended.
Monday morning Tim and I slept in and got everything together to leave. We stopped to eat at the Potato Patch in Houston (the food, once again, was awesome!) where they served fried okra and threw fresh and hot biscuits at us. We had fun on the drive back to Arlington and Fort Worth; so much fun in fact we decided to go watch a movie near their apartment complex. Those plans didn’t pan out because Katey’s bracelet got misplaced but Chris saved the day when he found in under the dishwasher in his apartment. We then watched 24 and finally they brought us home around 10:00 last night.
So our first weekend of spring break was fast and furious but a ton of fun. We got to do things that some of us hadn’t done (ice skate for Katey, Tim, and I and sit through a whole rodeo – Chris and Katey and feed a whole bag of Doritos to some sea gulls and I don’t think any of us had done that!) So here are some pictures to go along with this tremendously long post! Have a great rest of spring break!!
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Christmas pictures...finally!
Yes, I know I'm horribly late on posting these but better late than never, eh? We spent a glorious 10 days away from Arlington splitting the time between our families. It was great getting to see my dad at Christmastime. (He works overseas and hadn't been home during Christmas for three years). We took a family picture after Church on Sunday and I never really think about what a big family we have until I see a picture of us altogether! Yeah, I'm #2 of 7 but that doesn't seem like so much compared to my dear friend Susan who is #8 of 14!!!
Today we're having a home morning but Tim needs to work on a webpage he's building and I need to seriously clean our house and get organized. I've been on break far too long!
This week I worked 39 hours at my job. Now, I know most people work a 40 hour work week and I have done the same as well. But most people do not sit at a tanning salon for 11.5 hours and have 9 people come in during the WHOLE day!! Luckily, I didn't do that every day but I was there from Monday thru Saturday at least 4 hours at a time. My paycheck will be pretty nice (I say pretty nice because I get paid about $.10 over minimum wage) but I don't think I'll do it again.
Alrighty, well, enough verbage, enjoy the pictures! (more from the Merkin Christmas later on)
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